Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Most amazing present

So she made me an advent calendar. It's from a plastic parts bin, and it's full of neat stuff, but the point being that she thought of it, planned it out, and put it together. It's perfect!

I'm having trouble with being loved. It's fast. There's some compatibility issues, mostly I'm really afraid of getting my heart smashed into smithereens again.

I guess that means I'm not ready?

Maybe this is something I had better put some more thought into.

I want to be ready. I feel ready. She feels good next to me, dammit, and holding her feels good. I like her family. My mom likes her.

Now I'm in Montreal, I needed this family time, to meld with people, share, relax, calm down and get used to day-to-day interface. Maybe I'll be better next round. I hope so. I hope I get a next round.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Art Class, or cleaning the house, and why I don't have any friends

Today I'm supposed to go to the art room and work on an ar project.  I don't want to.  Last night was a big party at one of the student's houses.  I have bronchitis, and yesterday was brutal, so I didn't feel like going.

I don't want to explain that the program is killing me with the fact that I want to learn and there's very little in it to learn.  There's lots of rote material, but everytime we get to something engaging, they shut things down.

See the gifted blog for more.  lol.  Anyhow, I need to get the house cleaned up, and I need to get a bunch of projects done, and I'm justfeeling like things are overwhelming.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Whirlwhind

Things are moving fast here, school is busy, life is busy, and I hardly know which way is up anymore.

I am recently sick with some kind of chest infection, it's making it hard to think clearly, so just as my head was clearing from the junk from the accident, I'm back to being fuzzy because of not being able to think