Naming the behemoth

I got a beautiful car. A pathfinder. It's a kind of sparkly olive/khaki green. The green is a big deal since while I was with J we weren't allowed to own a green car because it was "unlucky". In any event, it's wondrous.

I've been debating names for it: toad, green machine, behemoth...

At the moment, I'm stuck between "the tank" and "olivia". It all depends on how I decide to assign gender to it, the debate for which stems from having recently re-read "The Dyke's Bike Repair Handbook" which has been waiting in my library for 15 years, and recently found it's true home in the hands of a new friend.

I'm realizing that I spend a lot of time afraid.

Woo!

I got a leather jacket yesterday.

Going away

I accepted an offer to go to school 18 hours away from here. Wow!

Sustaining beliefs

As an atheist, I often wonder, what is the sustaining belief that is left to me?

Higher power? No.

Basic goodness of humankind? No.

Love? Yes.

So, that's the answer. I spent yesterday in the company of friends. It was wonderful. Shared my ice cream cone with the most delightful almost-three-year-old. Listened to music. Went out to dinner. It was magical.

Love.
I wonder if it is going to be enough to get me through this.