Thursday, December 14, 2006

I've been really angry lately. Hating everything and everyone for no good reason.

Well, I'm sure it's because we're going to my family this holiday. I haven't been to xmas at my family for about five years, and I haven't been this psychotic in about as long. I know it's related, but it's hard. Other holidays seem to be OK with my family. While they're not always particularly great, they're at least not absolutely stress and horror.

I think partly it's because my one aunt is the only one who is a bit sane, is busy with her family this holiday, and while I really hope she'll be there at my family, she's not part of the organising so I have to work with mostly my mother on that.

Also, I think that I might have to go up a day early to take my mother, which is it's own nightmare. And I am buying most of the food for it. And I already have to go to my mother's place tomorrow, since she is recovering from an operation. I was supposed to just drop off groceries, but now she's decided she wants me to find her szechuan from somewhere. I'm debating just getting her some from President's Choice frozen section.

Home is a huge mess, and it feels a million times worse to me because I am totally freaking out about it, and, well, everything else.

I need a vacation. I know I have one coming up in January, but it will be a miracle if I manage to make it till then without ending up divorced or hospitalized.