Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Small city life

There's a lot of advantages to living in a Northern city. There's a lot more plus sized clothes in the second hand stores, for one! People are friendlier, and generally just helpful and nice.

I had forgotten how to relax. I'm calming down, just being here. It's strange. Taking time to see the sky, the moon, the clouds.

The mountain is changing colour. It's turning yellow and orange. It's fall. The trees on the golf course are turning. There's frost in the air.

I'm excited. I love fall. I'm a bit worried about the -40 winter that's coming. I think I need to get a down jacket. (and knit some more hats).

I miss the cats. My lap is cold. Although my carpets dont have little black patches from where they sit, and my clothes are not furry. Still, I miss them.

I miss my family, and my friends. I miss Costco, and IKEA. Other than that, I'm doing OK here. I'm texting people, using the FB, trying to keep in touch. Making some new friends, and trying to be social, which I am not so good at. I will eventually learn to break down my shell. :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I'm coming to the conclusion that courage is a quiet phenomenon. It's not all about going in with the guns blazing. That's bravado, often, and fear, and desperation, and sure, sometimes it's grit, and determination, and self-sacrifice, and bravery, but there's a certain quiet courage to be found in facing pain. 'in deciding to show love instead of rage or hate. In placing others above yourself. In loving yourself even though you don't feel like it all the time. In forgiveness, for yourself, and for others. In trusting people to be decent. In taking the first step. In moving forward. In making decisions based on what you need. In honouring yourself, and in choosing your words with care so that others are not harmed by them.

I'm not doing so great at any of this, but it's something to aspire to. Courage. Self-efficacy. Perseverance. Interdependence. All very scary concepts for someone like me, especially now, on my own, miles from everyone, and having to build a life for myself here. But I'm getting there, slowly.

It's my birthday in two days. Exciting! I can't wait. I'm planning my breakfast. Have an evening out planned, and have lots of assignments due that day, and the next day, so I'm strggling to get them all done now.