Most amazing present

So she made me an advent calendar. It's from a plastic parts bin, and it's full of neat stuff, but the point being that she thought of it, planned it out, and put it together. It's perfect!

I'm having trouble with being loved. It's fast. There's some compatibility issues, mostly I'm really afraid of getting my heart smashed into smithereens again.

I guess that means I'm not ready?

Maybe this is something I had better put some more thought into.

I want to be ready. I feel ready. She feels good next to me, dammit, and holding her feels good. I like her family. My mom likes her.

Now I'm in Montreal, I needed this family time, to meld with people, share, relax, calm down and get used to day-to-day interface. Maybe I'll be better next round. I hope so. I hope I get a next round.