Non-sense (or devlution?)

There are things that make sense, and things that have meaning, and they are not always the same things.

I've had an exterminator trying to trap this thing that's been living in the crawlspace.  Well, we caught it.  Only, not in time, and he didn't check the trap fast enough, so when I went down there, there was a dead kitty in the trap.

I came upstairs and cried for half an hour.  I cried off and on for most of yesterday.  I'm not ok with that.  I had a feeling it was a cat, and he told me it couldn't be,so I believed him.

I feel so guilty, for being scared of the crawlspace, and scared it was a skunk, and not checking it myself, and so on.

Last night when I went to bed, I had the wierdest thought of making a blood offering, just putting a smear of blood on a stone, and burning incense over it and making an apology.  It was a thought I couldn't shake.  So, today I went and did it, and I feel much better.

Not ALL better, but it's a way of trying to come to terms with it.

YES, I know it has no bearing on the cat, or no impact on the real world, but that's what ritual is for, right?  It's a way for us to reconcile things which we otherwise can't come to terms with.

Personal ritual makes all the more sense to me for that reason.

Anyhow, that's what I've got today.  Back to the homework.