I have been having trouble with some of the frustrating aspects of what I have been doing in school.  Some of it has been regarding the methods of presentation, some of it has been regarding the actual material being presented, and some of it has been with the limitations of the program, and with the need to regurgitate specific information rather than to formulate ideas, and do real thinking. 

I am a synthesist, and a global learner, and do my best learning by seeing things in  a larger context.  I prefer to view things in context, and would prefer to be able to consider all aspects of something before having to present a final conclusion.  I understand that often one way of looking at something may be enough to develop a functional approach to a problem, but more than one view can help to develop a multi-faceted view, and multiple views, while complicating things, can also allow for divergent patterns to come to light. 

I have been feeling very frustrated lately, and as a result, not being particularly impressed with aspects of the program, and not engaging with it very well.  Opportunities to explore things of interest to me have seemed few and far between, and with my very limited energy levels, and dealing with constant pain it is frustrating to have to choose between things of interest to me, and rote memorization of things for tests.  

I understand that having students do presentations is beneficial to us, as students, however, having us learn key concepts from these presentations seems irresponsible at best.  I have paid money to come to take courses from expert professors, and to pay to sit in a class while someone presents information from google or wikipedia is just frustrating.  Not a single ERIC reference, not a single journal article, not one piece of research, or data whatsoever to back up any of the information presented, so that if I wanted to look into the subject further there was a springboard for that.  This is what I find frustrating. 

Maybe I am too much of an academic for this professional course.  Maybe I don't grasp the concept of what we are supposed to be doing here.  I got in trouble for including graphic organisers in a project, because I felt that it gave a better understanding of my analysis to break it down into criteria, and to map it out. 

I have found myself reading through things for tests, and then flying off onto tangents, where I come across something fascinating, and wonderful, which captures my interest, drives me to distraction with my sudden need to know more, and takes me on a mad three hour search through journal archives in a furious tumult of needing to know statistics and details, only to realize that it is not going to help me on this essay or exam, and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with the task at hand.

Some questions I posed to myself recently were: Would it change if I saw this as an opportunity to demonstrate my accumulated learning?  If I saw the course as an opportunity to learn new things, and was happy about having the opportunity to learn?  Regardless of my personal views on the validity of learning these things?

I don’t know if I can be a Polyanna…