Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Granny,

I wish I could talk to you. I wish there was some way I could have come out to you (and Vana Isa). I wish I could have talked to you about things, like being crazy, and fashion, and what things were really like for you. I know you wouldn't have talked to me about them, because you had so much of what they used to call "class", and what we would now term stoicism.

You must have hurt so badly, and you were a victim of misogyny, and the patriarchal medical establishment, and buerocracy, and yet I remember you as being so wonderful, and beautiful, and fancy, and comforting, and elegant, and kind.

I also remember you being very regulated and regimented, like many people from that generation, keeping your demons at bay with a whole series of rules, designed to maintain safety and illusions.

I wonder.  And I miss you.

L.