Day 07 – your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

J,

So, I'm supposed to be writing you a letter, and I still haven't gotten around to it. It's about 18 months now. About a year since we last spoke.

There's lots of stuff that we did wrong.
Myself, I was mean when I got scared, which was often, and I know that being scared doesn't make it OK, but know please that I never meant it to hurt you.
I also tried my best to deny my own disabilities, and was ablist in dealing with yours, so that I was unfair and unhelpful, not offering understanding when you needed it.
I didn't realize I was so mired in my own paradigms of relationships, and I didn't realize that I was looking for a rescuer instead of looking to stand on my own two feet.

There's also lots we did right.
We stood together through some of the worst moments of each other's lives, and some of the best.
We loved each other to the best of our ability.
We tried to make each other happy, and to care for each other.
We tried to care for others, and to build a future for ourselves and those we love.
We did our best to help each other grow, and learn, and be the best people we could be.
We had fun, and played and laughed.

I have some truly wonderful memories of you, and of the time we spent together.  I miss having you as part of my life, and I hope someday that we are able to be friends. 

L.